Sunday, May 3, 2009

Decisions, decisions...

I hate making decisions. It's true. In social situations like at a restaurant, I'm the person who likes to order last, so I can have the extra time to decide between the 3-5 items on the menu that sound equally great to me. The last time I was out with a friend, I think it took me 15 minutes to decide what kind of wrap I wanted (I was secretly happy that my friend was also having a hard time trying to decide what to eat).


Many would say that those decisions are pretty minor, and it's kinda pathetic that it takes me a while to come to a decision. On the other hand, I've been faced with some pretty major, life-altering decisions as of late. And that's when making a decision becomes absolute agony for me. I don't know why, but I can't seem to help it. Maybe it's because I have this fear of making the wrong choice.


I've always been the sort of person who likes to have life planned out. And I had a plan...up until college graduation. But ever since then my future has been gapingly wide open. Frightening.


What to do? Grad school? Peace Corp? Foreign Service? Become an expert bagger slashy grocer at TJs? Become an administrative assistant, and waste away countless hours in front of a computer searching the web in between making copies, answering phones, and running random errands? Tempting, but no.


After many anxiety-ridden sleepless nights, and countless hours of prayer, I've finally decided what I'm going to do...

I'm moving back to Taiwan!


Back to Berhan, back to my amazingly cute kids.


"But you just got back!" you may say. It's true. I did. But it feels right. It is right.


The Lord works in mysterious ways, and through my experience here in DC I've learned how the Lord is acutely aware of me and my situation. Honestly, it would have been so much easier if He had told me what to do, but I've learned that's not His way.

Decision making is a blessing, even though it may seem like a blessing in deep, undercover disguise.

4 comments:

Suzy said...

OH MY GOSH! Although, we haven't even seen you yet, you can still go. I think it's great - You're such an adventurer! And... swing by Austin on the way, if you want :). When are you leaving?

Anonymous said...

I'm excited for you! When do you go?

Kelly said...

Holy smokes! I heard the rumor through the Merrell household, but I didn't know it was for sure. I'm glad you are certain it is what you should do. Those confirmations make it much easier to move forward. Are you planning on driving all the way back to WA?

Shan said...

I leave at the end of June, just like last year. And I'm taking off from Utah! Yep, that means I can see you before I leave, if I get arrive in time. I have to drive, and that's going to take a while

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