This Modern Love

It's about time that I shared some more music! I think it's been over a month. Crazy. Lately I've been listening to some of my old stuff. Not old as in retro or oldies, but my good ol' go-tos. Like Bloc Party. I'll never ever get sick of listening to Kele's voice. Swoon!

I happened upon this video of one of my favorite Bloc Party songs. There's something about live, acoustic music that triggers the emotions, whatever they may be. Maybe because the song is in it's purest form? Walls come down, the artist is truly sharing something he's created, something from the heart.



Marry me Kele! You can sing to me any day or night of the week! :)

"In three words..."

Lake Washington at Sunset

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."—Robert Frost

Robert Frost was a wise man. 

These words, among countless others, have given me such comfort this past month (a whole month!!! Inconceivable!). And I feel like I've been able to go on as well...

...except maybe for those few days

 when the magnitude of my diagnosis

 hits me like a ton of bricks.

But I'm slowly figuring it all out. 

And that's the point. 

Down by the Slough

The warmth of the glorious sun warms my back as I walk along the paved path.
In the near-by rock roses, bees industriously buzz.
Songbirds chirp a cheerful melody.

I take a breath of the cool air infused with freshly cut grass and the last of the lovely lilacs.
"On your left," the bikers say.
Cooing babes and talkative tots are pushed along by attentive nannies.

Geese honk, a reminder of summers past,
of docks and boats
and Grandma's house.

The trickling of the slow-moving Slough is constant and calming.
I love my walk.
Today,
I'm happy.

Fancy that: What Nick Jonas and I Have in Common

Life has thrown me for a loop these past couple of weeks. One minute I was happily going about my life, and the next I'm told by my doctor to immediately go to the ER.

As some of you may know, I haven't had the most excellent health this past year. I joke that I'm allergic to Seattle--all my health problems showed their ugly faces once I moved back. I won't go into detail, but it felt like it has been one thing after another, after another. 

Two weeks ago Tuesday I was just feeling gross. I took a "mental health" day from work and hung out with my mom and took it easy. That afternoon I had an appointment with my doctor, and she wanted to take some blood tests for the symptoms I was feeling. 

Late Wednesday night I received a voicemail from my doctor telling me to immediately go to the ER. My blood sugar levels were above 600 (normal range is 70-120), and that I tested positive for diabetes. What?! She left her cell number (doctors hardly ever do that) and told me to call her right away. Which I did--after I bawled my eyes out to my parents. 

At the hospital, I was immediately admitted into the ER and had several vials of blood drawn and had at least 4 things of saline pumped into me. They found that my blood levels were above 700 (that was as far as the hospital's machine would register). It was the most surreal experience. I ended up staying two nights in the hospital--one in the ICU and the other on the floor. I have never been so uncomfortable in my life, despite all the lovely nurses and techs that were trying to "make it all better."

It's ironic--one of my main motivations for losing weight was so I would avoid getting Type 2 diabetes when I am older. It was a fear of mine, to be perfectly honest. But now, here I am, trying to navigate a new life with Type 1 diabetes. 

I'm so grateful for all the love and support I've received over the past weeks. And it's been interesting to see the Lord's hand in my life at this time, blessing me through this whole experience. There have been so many "tender mercies." For instance, one of my best friends is an ER nurse at the hospital I was admitted to and was working that night. It was a comfort to have something familiar in a strange place. And she made sure I got the good doctor who was on that night. Another: the nurse that I had that first night in the ICU was so bubbly and happy--something I needed at 2 am still going through the whole ordeal. And yet another: the fact that I live so close to my family and that my mom in particular was able to drop everything to come be with me. My parents' have been amazing, and I can't even imagine how I could have done this on my own in DC. 

The emotions I'm feeling are quite surprising. I thought I'd be fine...so many people have diabetes, it's not like I'm the only one. But it's been frustrating as I've gained back weight (!) especially after I worked so hard to lose it (I know. I'm vain. At least I'm admitting it though?). I'm frustrated with myself that I'm feeling a sense of loss. I'm told that this is normal--that I will go through a mourning period and may even feel depression and anxiety. Those last two scare me the most. 

But through all this I have learned that my Heavenly Father loves me. I should have had seizures or been in a coma with how high my blood sugar levels were, yet the day before I went into the hospital I was playing volleyball. I've had conversations with so many people that have been answers to prayer. Blessings from priesthood holders that have soothed my soul.

I can do this!

I definitely can!

May the Fourth Be With You

Haha.

I love being a nerd.

Today is Star Wars Day, and for some reason this is the first time I've even heard of it. I have a couple of friends that are huge fans that are holding a viewing tonight complete with Star Wars themed food...costumes are not discouraged.

I've never been a super fan, but it's hard not to like Star Wars. And you have to admit that John Williams is a brilliant composer! We played the Imperial March in marching band, and then in Wind Ensemble we performed the piece that influenced Williams' composition--Gustav Holst's Mars, Bringer of War, from his Planets (brilliant piece, by the way).

And I thought about Star Wars every single day I lived in Taiwan. Fact. Remember how I taught twins that were named Luke and Leia? Well, they were never told why they were given those English names. They had no idea. Towards the end of my second stint teaching there, I felt like I had to let them in on it. We watehed a clip in class, and they thought it was the coolest thing ever. (Oh, the Taiwanese and their English names!!!)

And Star Wars loosely reminds me of this video by the Beastie Boys:


Beastie Boys - Intergalactic by BeastieBoys-Official

The Beastie Boys have always been a favorite. So many memories in junior/high school involve their songs (in particular, cruising to Brass Monkey, and Girls with my best friend's older brother and his friend on a particular New Year's Eve). Intergalactic was one of my absolute favorite songs my 9th grade year. I still remember a heated conversation with one of guy friends over it (even then I was a music snob).

As you may already know, Adam Yauch--aka MCA--passed away today from cancer. It's a tragedy that the world has lost such a talented performer, filmmaker, and philanthropist (he's the one who directed the above video.) The Beasties have forever influenced the music world, and for that I am grateful to have lived in such a time.

So simply, here's to MCA!

Sunny Days in Seattle

The past couple of days have been absolutely beautiful--a rarity this time of year. Monday smelled like summer! I set out on a walk as soon as I got home from work with objectives in mind. One, to see if I could handle going on a long walk in a maxi skirt--I plan on wearing them all the time this summer. Two, to take pictures--I'm seriously lacking in this department of late. Three, to stretch out my legs and get a spot of exercise.

I loved seeing people out and about taking in the evening sun--families with kids on bikes with training wheels, moms power walking, kids playing baseball.

Walks in the suburbs may not be incredibly inspiring such as those in the city, but they are more peaceful. Less cars, less crouds, but also less material for photos. But there are more smiles and salutations exchanged. The air is fresher with scents of flowering trees, and on this particular evening, the clink of softballs hitting metal bats.

Walking by a little league game in the nearby park brought back so many memories of my youth. I remember the try-outs, the smell of the grass, the hope that I would be chosen for the best team. I remember the sunflower seeds, the cheers from the dug-out, and the joy of getting a really good hit.

I loved playing softball, and I was proud of my arm. I had a really good one you see. I could throw long distances, and sometimes could out-throw my brother--that really was something to be proud of (he's one of those irritating, natural-born athletes that is awesome at anything he touches). And I was great at bat. There was a certain satisfaction knowing that the other teams recognized me as a power hitter, and would always back up as I came to the plate.

Some of my greatest friendships came from playing softball. I met one of my very best friends, Ilene, when her dad was our softball coach in 4th grade. We stayed friends throughout junior high and high school. We were close through college and often went on walks, played catch, or volleyball. And I'm so grateful that we continue to be friends as we've entered the real world, meeting up for dinner or dropping by her workplace for lovely chats.

Who knew that one lovely evening walk would trigger such nostalgia? Then again, it is me we're talking about.

Hears to memories, friendships, and spring/summer in Seattle!

P.S. Still undecided about the whole 

going-on-walks-in-maxi-skirts thing...

I'll keep you updated. 

A few favorites of the moment

I know, it's been a while, huh?

Of late, I often have those moments when I sit down at my computer with full intentions to write,and then...nothing.. Inspiration gone.

 I don't know what's happening to me. It's not like I don't have things to write about. I do. Life has become immensely more interesting over the past couple of months. New Year's resolutions have actually come to fruition (sadly, not the one for lipstick)!

But all I can really think about is how much I want it to be summer right now. In the Northwest. Mr. Weather is such a tease. Giving us sun one moment and torrential down pours and wind the next. Oh, well. I'm just impatient is all. This is really becoming apparent in my life of late.

Anyhow, on to my favorites of the moment:

Lemons--I'm slightly obsessed. Always have been, really, but it seems to come out a bit more when spring has sprung. I'm addicted to Dreyer's (or Edy's on the East Coast) Lemonade popsicles. A-Mazing! I pretty much love all forms of lemonade, but my favorite right this second is blackberry lemonade. Yup, it's as delicious as its sounds.

Pretzels--this week I learned how to make pretzels with a dear friend from high school, and they were sooo good that I had to try out the recipe myself tonight. And they were pretty good, I must admit. A new favorite.

Jane By Design--a new favorite show (and I may have started and finished the first season this week(. It was on netflix, and I needed a show in the background as I was doing other things. And it's pretty amazing.

Chicago--I think it's my new favorite city. I had the change to visit earlier in the month, and loved everything about it. I mean, it doesn't get better than a city on a lake with beaches, right? Maybe Miami could compare, maybe? I felt like it had the best of the West mixed with what I loved in the East. Loved it.

Ellie Goulding--she's just amazing. Her sound Lights, is one of my favorites. I came across this little video earlier today, and had to share. It's sooo good. Ellie normally is all electronic, so it's really neat to be able to hear her go acoustic.

Please enjoy! (I was just there, too!!!)

In the Open: Ellie Goulding - Guns and Horses from In the Open on Vimeo.